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What’s a Jefferson?
As a Jefferson, I am a modern man of leisure, unbound by societal norms of what classically defines masculine success. I’m what some call a ‘house-husband’, which is distinct from ‘stay-at-home-dad’ in that I don’t have (or plan to have) children. My partner is shockingly successful and I spend the ‘working’ part of my days trying to increase her bandwidth rather than further my own career goals. Essentially, a Jefferson is a man whose relationship is his career.
What’s With The Name?
Jefferson D’Arcy was the original house-husband in pop-culture; a character on the hit FOX TV show, Married...With Children, portrayed by Ted McGinley. Cast your gaze upon this glorious bastard and try and tell me you’re not inspired to become a Jefferson yourself!
Why Should You Care?
Well, I have a pretty great life that never would have happened if I’d stuck to the script society had handed me.
Men are commonly taught from a pretty young age that we are meant to be providers and that we must procreate. If we are not able to be the breadwinners of our relationship and the head of a family then we are not the ones ‘wearing the pants’ and thus are not successful as men.
While this way of thinking may be outdated now, it is still firmly planted in the recesses of almost every male ego of even the woke-est (most widely awake?) millennials and probably even those precocious Gen-Z rascals, let alone previous generations of men.
Ever since I broke the mold of expectation that I hadn’t even realized was placed upon me, I’ve been able to do something most people can’t even conceptualize: I have completely decoupled typified success from happiness, and my life has never been better.
I believe that most men will never give themselves a chance at living such a life of joy and leisure, and so, I’m here to help.
Why Should I Listen To Some Layabout Has-Been/Never-Was?
A fair question indeed.
To give some context, I joined the workforce full-time at the age of sixteen and by the time I was twenty-six I’d put in more working hours than many people pushing forty. I was more career-minded than anyone I knew in my peer group and had recently been promoted to the Director of Operations of a company of over 120 employees. I managed other managers and oversaw millions of dollars in sales annually. I was making around $80,000 per year in salary and I’d achieved it with my own blood, sweat and tears, having outcompeted better educated and more experienced candidates for promotions at every turn.
I’d already achieved more career success at that age than many do in their lifetimes, but, like many people in that exact situation, I was totally miserable.
Why? Because by concentrating so hard on achieving perceived success I was neglecting, almost religiously, my own happiness and health.
Why did I continue to work so hard if it wasn’t making me happy?
Why did I care about my job title?
What difference did the relatively large salary make if I was spending more to reward myself for putting up with the stress?
You’re probably getting the picture so let’s suffice it to say, I’ve chosen a lifestyle that most men will never even realize they can consider, and it would be my privilege to share it with you.
Who Is This Blog For?
First and foremost this blog is for men (of any orientation) to be able to read about and comment on a different way of life than blindly following the path set out by societal expectations and toxic masculinity.
Secondly, this blog is meant for anyone curious about the life of a house-husband, including those hoping to achieve that life. I will give you all the pro-tips, life-hacks and best practices of a high-performing house-husband and try to help you on your journey, whether that’s to actually become a Jefferson yourself or simply become a better relationship partner.